This is the Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights interactive Flash soundboard!

Download the sounds:
Stranrar 1 Stranrar 2 Stranrar 3 Stranrar 4 I ordered the Matrix, I didn’t order Das Boot Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans What the hell is going on Would you turn your mobile off Who is this Where This is Sargeant Patterson Theme Music You go, I’m not going up there You’re killing me The Phoenix is Rising Would you suck a ten year old banana Are my eyes deceiving me or have you got two of my singers singing acapulco? Car alarm Ooo me angina Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now Evening girls, want to take a look into my crystal balls That’s fantastic that, special that isn’t it Fart The flavoured condom machine is restocked and ready for action Get back you bastard, I’ll break your legs God loves you Brian. Does he… funny way of showing it Good night Hello Hoho Hear you, I can see you you dick I don’t take none of that shit love, and neither will you if you know what’s good for you In Scotland, today Interfering with dogs Leave it That’s not the kind of diving I’ll be doing Let us out we’re burning And neither do I Oh Is it me, or do all pensioners stink of Time to begin I’m coming in, Shabba Shut up you girl Lonely this christmas Smoke kills in seconds, fire kills in minutes Sod off Stick it in front room, impress your friends Come on, stop crapping and get cracking You’re listening to Chorley FM, coming in your ears

Brian Potter was a glorious sitcom character – stingy, mean-spirited, calculating, excitable, embittered – yet while the lowbrow, downbeat air of northern clubland was palpable, Phoenix Nights was an affectionate rather than patronising take on the subject. The performances were perfectly pitched and the many guest appearances from clubland personalities (either as themselves or in character parts) were excellently judged. Inspired lines and comedy moments abounded from first scene to last. The sum total was another comedy extravaganza for the richly talented Peter Kay, whose stock rose steadily as a result – by the second series both he and Phoenix Nights had become the comedy talk of the town.