This is the Family Guy soundboard.

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Stuie: Damn you all! But of course Damn you vile woman! Hello Intro Music Oh God it feels like there’s accountants cranking adding machines in my head Football Hey Peter my thing went off, your thermostat ok Oh hahaha I almost walked right into that one I beg your pardon Laugh Mark my words, when you least expect it, your uppance will come Nonono Return my mind control device or be destroyed Stuie, I said no toys at the table The fruition of my deeply laid plans… The mind control device is nearing completition Why are we making a federal case out of this Yeah its alright You’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb Oh please tell me this is some kind of practical joke I’m afraid I have some very bad news No no no I’m just kidding Scream and setting self on fire Stewie laughing Oh my God Lois I’m sorry, it was 20 years ago and I’d never even heard the word rubber Stewie crying Stewie crying 2 Yeah I’d like 6000 chicken fajitas please

In a wacky Rhode Island town, a dysfunctional family strive to cope with everyday life as they are thrown from one crazy scenario to another

This is the Max and Paddy… All your favourite clips from Peter Kay’s Max and Paddy Series, make crank phone calls!

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And what’s that supposed to mean? Big Bob’s Bastard Beans Have you got any of those big tellies? I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic Do We Checkout supervisor… really! Why do you keep buying cheap crap? Bottled in the mountains of Afghanistan? Bollocks Oh aye, we got to get a bit of porn on that for the lads Bit of manners cost nothing Hello Boys Have you got any plasma screens? Good morning anals, good morning Charlie I’ve got a beautiful 22 inch Futaba What we need is a bit of fun and games Erm Eheheheheyeah That’s the thing I cant. Well I can and I cant How dare you How dare you 2 How dare you 3 Ho ho ho Hey He’s a case ain’t he. Crackers that lad I like a girl with special needs Oh no I don’t mean a girl with special needs In a nutshell, you stink You can forget that What’s that This is the front room, that’s my room. Tour over Speaking of arses Oh yes, the old shore leave, batter down the hatches and all that Come here I’ll rip your bastard head off. Paddy has needs! Pleasures of the flesh Max! Smell of perfume wafting across the nostrils Oh you’re on your arse Oh yes here we go ding dang do! Oh yeah Oh Jesus no I am not watching Charlie’s anals like that What we’ll be watching won’t be for the families my friend. Well lets go out dressed as a couple of Nazi’s then, see how far we get. Its like living with a bloody woman

Brian Potter was a glorious sitcom character – stingy, mean-spirited, calculating, excitable, embittered – yet while the lowbrow, downbeat air of northern clubland was palpable, Phoenix Nights was an affectionate rather than patronising take on the subject. The performances were perfectly pitched and the many guest appearances from clubland personalities (either as themselves or in character parts) were excellently judged. Inspired lines and comedy moments abounded from first scene to last. The sum total was another comedy extravaganza for the richly talented Peter Kay, whose stock rose steadily as a result – by the second series both he and Phoenix Nights had become the comedy talk of the town.

This is the Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights interactive Flash soundboard!

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Stranrar 1 Stranrar 2 Stranrar 3 Stranrar 4 I ordered the Matrix, I didn’t order Das Boot Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans What the hell is going on Would you turn your mobile off Who is this Where This is Sargeant Patterson Theme Music You go, I’m not going up there You’re killing me The Phoenix is Rising Would you suck a ten year old banana Are my eyes deceiving me or have you got two of my singers singing acapulco? Car alarm Ooo me angina Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now Evening girls, want to take a look into my crystal balls That’s fantastic that, special that isn’t it Fart The flavoured condom machine is restocked and ready for action Get back you bastard, I’ll break your legs God loves you Brian. Does he… funny way of showing it Good night Hello Hoho Hear you, I can see you you dick I don’t take none of that shit love, and neither will you if you know what’s good for you In Scotland, today Interfering with dogs Leave it That’s not the kind of diving I’ll be doing Let us out we’re burning And neither do I Oh Is it me, or do all pensioners stink of Time to begin I’m coming in, Shabba Shut up you girl Lonely this christmas Smoke kills in seconds, fire kills in minutes Sod off Stick it in front room, impress your friends Come on, stop crapping and get cracking You’re listening to Chorley FM, coming in your ears

Brian Potter was a glorious sitcom character – stingy, mean-spirited, calculating, excitable, embittered – yet while the lowbrow, downbeat air of northern clubland was palpable, Phoenix Nights was an affectionate rather than patronising take on the subject. The performances were perfectly pitched and the many guest appearances from clubland personalities (either as themselves or in character parts) were excellently judged. Inspired lines and comedy moments abounded from first scene to last. The sum total was another comedy extravaganza for the richly talented Peter Kay, whose stock rose steadily as a result – by the second series both he and Phoenix Nights had become the comedy talk of the town.